Make your own Anita Blake book

[yendi]

In honor of the fact that we own a copy of Incubus Dreams for some reason (doorstop? Flyswatter? Emergency weapon? Target for throwing knives?), here's how to make your own Anita Blake novel (note: this technique only applies to later Anita Blake novels; to create early AB novels, you have to actually write):

1. Tear 100 pages out of any of the first five AB novels.

2. Head to http://www.asstr.org/ and pick 25 different stories at random. Include as many different kinks as you can, including at least one dealing with animals and one dealing with the supernatural.

3. Print all those stories.

4. Take all 25 stories and all 100 pages from the AB books and shuffle them together.

5. Do NOT, under any circumstances, edit a single word. If the porn you picked was well-written, in fact, add some mistakes.

6. Do randomly change a few actions and motivations to reflect your own personal life.

7. In fact, just go ahead and rename the main character "Laurell." or "Mary Sue." Whichever.

Comments

I actually wrote a review...

[freyalorelei.livejournal.com]

...of A Kiss of Shadows. It's here (http://www.angelfire.com/mi2/lorelei/kissofshadows.html). Also one of her pre-Anita fantasy Nightseer (http://www.angelfire.com/mi2/lorelei/nightseer.html). I can only hope I gave them the credit they deserve.

Re: I actually wrote a review...

[miintikwa.livejournal.com]

I read Nightseer, and found it cliche but with potential. (As in, her writing had potential, if only she'd find something else- and the AB books were it.) Kiss of Shadows... you definitely gave it the credit it deserves! :D

Re: I actually wrote a review...

[freyalorelei.livejournal.com]

I just posted a review of A Caress of Twilight (http://www.angelfire.com/mi2/lorelei/caressoftwilight.html) today (because of your reminder, I actually finished the damn thing!). It's getting so I like the MG books better than AB, mainly because Anita's quality is going downhill at lightspeed, while Merry has nowhere to go but up--although I fear soon even that will change.

I read somewhere that LKH started adding lots o' porn just to piss off her publishers and prove that, yes, sex DOES sell thankyouverymuch, which, okay, good for her, but Laurell honey, you've proved your point. Lay off the gratuitous sex and we'll all be happier for it.

Re: I actually wrote a review...

[yendi]

When she started the Merry Gentry series, I'd actually had high hopes that she'd just move the gratuitous sex over there, and let Anita go back to being the conflicted Catholic who still harbored guilt about her one pre-marital sexual experience (which, needless to say, makes for a much more interesting character). No such luck, alas.

Re: I actually wrote a review...

[freyalorelei.livejournal.com]

So did I...at least, that it wouldn't be quite so gratuitous. Anita'd had sex with Jean-Claude and Richard each by Blue Moon, which was published in 1998. A Kiss of Shadows was dated 2000, so Merry would have been a bit late as a substitute for Anita's sex life. However, by 2000 the ardeur shit hadn't kicked in. The Merry books opened the floodgates, I think.

The problem I've had with the sexual content of Anita vs. Merry, is Anita didn't start out as porn-o-rama. They were straight supernatural horror-type novels, with some innuendo thrown in. As the sexual content increased, the plot, characters, and pretty much everything else fell (or rather, was thrown) by the wayside.

Merry was upfront about sex right at the start. The series is unabashedly, even cheerfully honest about its PWP status. Even the titles admit, yup, it's porn, help yourselves, folks. There's no subterfuge or pretention of anything resembling a plot, which is more than can be said for Anita.

Wow, I'm all ranty today.

Re: I actually wrote a review...

[miintikwa.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I found Caress better than the first, and the other one better still. Still waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much sex, and way too many Guys With Long Hair, but there was more plot, so it was easier to deal with (sorta). I think if she's pare down the GWLH, and get Merry preggo, I could deal with it even better.

I'm on a waiting list for the next book, which the library is getting. We'll see how bad IT is.

Re: I actually wrote a review...

[freyalorelei.livejournal.com]

I haven't finished Seduced By Moonlight yet--I read the first 60 pages or so at the local library before I had to leave for work--I'm waiting for it to be released in paperback before buying. It was indeed more entertaining, although if I read about "hair of spun garnets and moonlit skin" one more time....

...way too many Guys With Long Hair...

Dude, when she started growing out Jean-Claude's hair despite the whole dead vampire thing JUST BECAUSE Laurell Anita thinks long hair is teh sexx? Bitch, please.

Apparently LKH plans on limiting Merry to 7-12 books, but we'll see how long THAT lasts. I am so looking forward to A Stroke of Midnight, but mostly because the cover's purple, and anything purple is good. :)