Superman and Jesus

[yendi]

So, the big controversy in the comics world is Marc "Overrated Tool" Millar's contention that Jim "Jesus" Caviezel will be playing Superman. Harry "Ain't I Cool?" Knowles disputes this, but Millar claims to have damned good sources.

Comics fans aren't sure if this is a good thing or not (although if Knowles and Millar get into a fight and bitch-slap each other to death, we all win -- it's sort of like the reverse of Aliens Vs. Predator). But if you think about it, the parts of Jesus and Superman aren't really that far apart. To wit:

Jesus	Superman
Jewish, but many folks deny it	Obviously Jewish, but many folks deny it
Theoretically the strongest being on Earth	Theoretically the strongest being on Earth
Believes in helping the helpless	Believes in helping the helpless
Killed by a bunch of normal humans	Regularly nearly killed by Lex Luthor, Toyman, and an extra-dimensional imp.
Has met Swamp Thing (Almost)	Has Met Swamp Thing
Typically depicted with long hair	Went through an ill-advised shoulder-length hair period in the mid-'90s.
Wears a long robe instead of normal clothes	Wears pajamas instead of normal clothes
Died trying to rescue Santa Claus (on South Park)	Died trying to rescue Metropolis
Has come back from the dead at least once	Has come back from the dead at least once
Was stabbed with the Spear of Destiny	Was unable to attack Hitler because of the Spear of Destiny
Torn between being human and obligation to his otherworldly Father	Torn between being human and obligation to his otherworldly Father
Has a weird antagonistic but polite relationship with Satan	Has a weird antagonistic but respectful relationship with Batman
Has worked with the Holy Ghost	Has worked with The Spectre
Has a team of Twelve Apostles	Has a team of seven to thirteen Justice Leaguers