TV: Gilmore Girls

Wow. You know, when I first got into GG (about halfway through season 2), everyone online griped that episodes written by Daniel Palladino sucked, and that he brought the show down. And although his episodes were certainly not as good as those written by his wife, I still enjoyed them, and I thought that his writing last year was top-notch.

This one, though, blew. A lot. There were some great zingers, sure, and the final five minutes were wonderful, but so much of the rest of the episode involved bad writing, stupid continuity errors, and just general suckitude. The highlight, of course, was the dinner at Sookie and Jackson's place, which was possibly the worst five minutes of TV I've seen this season, and I watched the pilot of How I Met Your Mother.

Oh, and my theory on the theatre: Once the actors come out into the audience, they're fair game for anything you want to do with them. It almost turns Cats into a palatable play.

McSweeny's for Kids!

How did I miss the release of Noisy Outlaws, Unfriendly Blobs, and Some Other Things That Aren't as Scary, Maybe, Depending on How You Feel About Lost Lands, Stray Cellphones, Creatures From the Sky, Parents Who Disappear in Peru, a Man Named Lars Farf, and One Other Story We Couldn't Quite Finish, So Maybe You Could Help Us Out?

I mean, stories by Neil Gaiman, Jonathan Safran Foer, Nick Hornby, Lemony Snicket (The unfinished one), all appropriate for Elayna?

Hell, yes, we're getting it. For Elayna, of course. Not for the adults. Really.

For the Mac Folks

Freeverse, one of the best Mac game makers out there, is offering 25% off at their store all week (via coupon code "bigweek"), as well as a whole bunch of product announcements (including a bundle that includes Airburst Extreme, still my all-time favorite Mac-only game ever, and and Active Lancer). Their news page has all the info.

"Before George Bush makes another political appointment, he has to join Friendster."

The latest New Rule from Bill Maher

And finally, New Rule: George Bush must meet some new people. You know, when Americans see their president giving every job to the same old cronies, they use words like "loyal to a fault" and "stubborn" and "close-minded," "lives in a bubble," "sock-puppet," "asshole." "Worst president ever." But they're missing the point. The problem isn't his political philosophy - "kill people and animals and take their gas" - the problem is he has to expand his circle of friends beyond his mom, Karen Hughes and the House of Saud. Which is why before George Bush makes another political appointment, he has to join Friendster.

This week, President Bush had to nominate a Supreme Court judge, and he picked the most qualified person within 30 feet of his office. Her qualifications: well, she is a lawyer and former commissioner of the Texas State Lottery. And she's seen every episode of "Judging Amy." Abortion, affirmative action, separation of church and state. Yeah, let's ask the lady who peddled scratch tickets to liquor stores.

Does he just go with the first person he sees? I wouldn't be surprised if Laura was his sister. Now, of course - I keep checking with him - of course, George Bush isn't the first politician to hand out graft gigs to his pals, but he doesn't seem to understand that that's what the bullshit jobs are for: ambassador to the Bahamas. The Recycling Czar. Head of the CIA. But George Bush puts stooges where they can do real damage: Director of FEMA? That guy from the horsie show is available. U.N. Ambassador? Dick Cheney knows a guy with a mustache and anger issues.

Supreme Court justice? Lady down the hall. Labor Secretary? The guy who helped me move that hooker's body at Yale could probably do it. You know - you know, Mr. President, when you got elected, we all figured you were no genius, but smart enough to hire qualified people. But it turns out you're just a dimwit who enjoys feeling superior. And the only way to accomplish that is to surround yourself with the likes of Mike Brown and Harriet Miers: Goober and Aunt Bea. Unspectacular souls who make you feel comfortable and unthreatened. Kind of like when Madonna used to hang out with Rosie O'Donnell.

Well, I hate to burst your bubble. But real friends are the ones who tell you the truth. They're also the ones who work hard so as not to embarrass you. These people who work for you aren't behaving like friends. They're behaving far worse. They're behaving...like family.

Yes, it's almost enough to make you miss the old pre-"honor and integrity" days. Because at least when Clinton talked about tapping the woman down the hall, he was just having sex with her.