Three movies, two tv shows

[yendi]

Taking them in the order I watched them:

The Bourne Identity:

I Tivod this, and watched it on Thursday after getting home from the server upgrade. Not a great movie, but a really (surprisingly) fun piece of brain candy. Nicely cut from the Hitchcock North by Northwest cloth (man caught up in something he doesn't understand). Good acting (Matt Damon, Clive Owen, Chris Cooper, a surprising supporting role for Julia Stiles), and just a good sense of fun. Definitely worth renting.

(note: North by Northwest is still a much, much better movie -- don't expect anything nearly that good)

Next, I watched the third ep of Celebrity Poker Showdown:

For once, the best player won! Hooray!

And they actually got eliminated roughly in reverse order of skill. That usually doesn't even happen with the pros.

And Adam Rodriguez may be the worst poker player ever. Ever, I tell you.

Otherwise, a fun episode, but not as enjoyable, banter-wise, as the first two.



Next was the unrated Eurotrip, which I watched right before I went out of town.

I should be ashamed of myself. I really liked this movie. Dumb? Sure. Offensive? Hell yes. But it was also damned well done. Much less stereotyping that I expected (I mean, they go to France, and the only things they make fun of are mimes, nude beaches, and the line at the Louvre?), and much more, well, humor. Not sure how much was in the "rated" version, but this had some truly wonderful moments (including Lucy Lawless as a bondage queen in a scene that involved a laser-sighted four-way dildo, something I couldn't make up if I wanted to). It also had, as far as I can tell, much more male nudity than any other raunchy comedy has ever had. And Hasselhoff (not naked). What more could any movie fan ask for?

I was too tired when I got back on Sunday to do anything, but I caught the season finale of Deadwood yesterday morning.


Damn, that was satisfying. I do not want to wait for next season. There are a zillion dangling plotlines (Sol/Trixie, Seth/Alma, Al's murder warrant, Wu, etc), and I want to know what's going to happen. And we now have Seth as sheriff, something we've all been waiting for.

And so many nice details. Al's mercy killing of the reverend followed by the brutal murder of the magistrate. Jewel's leg. Russell's arrogant speech, followed by Seth beating the crap out of him. Seth and Dan's conversation.

Damn. It's currently my favorite HBO show, by a long shot.



Finally, I grabbed House of 1000 Corpses on Tivo.

Worst. Movie. Ever.

If Dee Snyder's Strangeland had unprotected sex with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation, and the resulting baby movie was dropped on its head a few times, it would still be ten times better than House of 1000 Corpses.

Ugh. Seeing Sherie Moon in assless chaps isn't enough to save this movie. Nor is Sid Haig, who gives the best performance (and has the best character, by far). It's not even MST3Kable.

Comments

[gmslegion.livejournal.com]

Sid Haig? Wow! He was the Drago in Jason of Star Command! And the Genie in Electra Woman & Dyna Girl! And Tiger Man in Buck Rogers! You don't get much more evil than that. I love that guy.

[aussie-nyc.livejournal.com]

And Hasselhoff (not naked). What more could any movie fan ask for?

That's all I ever ask from a film. The rest is gravy.

[heathrow.livejournal.com]

We are watching Celebrity Poker Showdown as well. We couldn't believe the sheer awfulness of Adam. Phil was very kind in how much he dressed him down.

By the by - if you're not TiVoing the World Poker tour, you should be. Real pros playing poker - it's awesome.

[yendi]

Oh, I do Tivo it, although there've been conflicts with other shows too often. But I do enjoy watching the actual pros. :-)

CPS

[envoy.livejournal.com]

I don't know *what* the hell happened with Norm. Seriously, it's like he was just toying with him or something. Like he *wanted* to drag it out a bit. I thought his restraint with Adam was just amazing. Adam wasn't just a bad poker player, he was just a dick. I was sooooo happy to watch Norm just shank him first round.

I thought the banter was pretty good.

[servermonkey.livejournal.com]

For some reason, I'm now imagining a copy of Strangeland mounting a copy of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation.

:: shudder ::

[fmi-agent.livejournal.com]

| some truly wonderful moments (including Lucy Lawless as a bondage queen
| in a scene that involved a laser-sighted four-way dildo, something I couldn't
| make up if I wanted to)

*blinks*
*scratches head*
*blinks again*

just imagining this scene is a mind-stretching exercise.

[philrancid.livejournal.com]

I never saw Strangeland, but to put House in the same sentence as Next Generation seems like a slap in the eye to me--I liked House immensely; payed to see it in the theaters, twice.

email me with the things that you thought were wrong with it--other than the thought that it just might not be something that you go for, I can't think why anyone wouldn't like it.

Signed,
Slavering Fanboy

[yendi]

Oh, any 60 seconds could have come from a damned good film, but the movie felt like Rob took every idea and tribute idea he had, and threw it in a blender. There was simply too little plot or character development (I still couldn't tell you the difference between either girlfriend), too many villains, and too much silliness.

Also, the MTV cutting ended up being more annoying than effective (with the exception of one or two of Baby's scenes, notably the one talking about killing if you have to).

[dhole.livejournal.com]

So, as I understand it, you seem to be asserting that there exists a worse movie than Manos, the Hands of Fate.

I'm not certain I believe that.

[philrancid.livejournal.com]

Hmmm.

Plot and character development. I will simply remind that (and I hope this doesn't get under your skin or go the wrong way) you're in the wrong genre for Plot and Character development.

It's like dressing in drag and going into a small-town bar in Georgia or NC.

A devil-music rock star who did an animation sequence for Beavis and Butthead writes his own movie. I cry your pardon, yendi, but I think you ask a bit much in these two departments.

I just went into it looking to see if Rob could do the kind of horror slasher flick that he always talked about, and I came away satisfied. But, like I said, I'm a fan of the genre, warts and all.

Thanks for your time!

[heathrow.livejournal.com]

The pros are pretty impressive, purely for their sheer oddball natures...

[philrancid.livejournal.com]

Hmmm.

Plot and character development. I will simply remind that (and I hope this doesn't get under your skin or go the wrong way) you're in the wrong genre for Plot and Character development.

It's like dressing in drag and going into a small-town bar in Georgia or NC.

A devil-music rock star who did an animation sequence for Beavis and Butthead writes his own movie. I cry your pardon, yendi, but I think you ask a bit much in these two departments.

I just went into it looking to see if Rob could do the kind of horror slasher flick that he always talked about, and I came away satisfied. But, like I said, I'm a fan of the genre, warts and all.

Thanks for your time!

[philrancid.livejournal.com]

Hmmm.

Plot and character development. I will simply remind that (and I hope this doesn't get under your skin or go the wrong way) you're in the wrong genre for Plot and Character development.

It's like dressing in drag and going into a small-town bar in Georgia or NC.

A devil-music rock star who did an animation sequence for Beavis and Butthead writes his own movie. I cry your pardon, yendi, but I think you ask a bit much in these two departments.

I just went into it looking to see if Rob could do the kind of horror slasher flick that he always talked about, and I came away satisfied. But, like I said, I'm a fan of the genre, warts and all.

Thanks for your time!

[coffeeinhell.livejournal.com]

I think Adam Rodriguez may be mildly retarded. I honestly think my dog could have handled that hand -- the opening goddamn hand! -- better than him. It was, however, downright hilarious to see Norm McDonald realize that he was playing against an idiot and that there was no way he could lose, and just take all his chips away from him in one fell swoop.

The Bourne Identity: Yeah, way better than one would expect from a remake. Really good, really watchable movie. Matt Damon is, in my opinion, a really terrific actor who's suffered form his association with Ben "Talking Piece O' Wood" Affleck.

Deadwood: I hate that HBO taks so long between seasons. God, that fist season of Deadwood was amazing television.

The House of 1000 Corpses: I finally saw that this week. I don't get it. I mean, literally -- I can't figure out what the point of making this movie was. It's not scary, it's not funny, it's not shocking, it's rarely visually interesting ... what the fuck is it supposed to be?

[yendi]

Thing is, most horror flicks do have some semblance of plot and motivations. Mind you, the killer's motivation is often "I must kill," but it's there. You could summarize the plot of most horror movies to someone who hadn't seen it, and it could make sense. Not so with Ho1000C.

And I'd disagree that the genre needs to be simple. The heyday -- the late '70s, had everything from sophisticated straightforward tales (Halloween) to complex societal commentary (Romero's NOTLD trilogy, Shivers and other Cronenberg works) to stark statements on the bleakness of society as a whole (the original TCM, most of Craven's work). The latter is the area I felt Rob was going for, but he just never seemed to land there. If he'd cut about half the stuff out and focused more on the insane family and their victims(without the Dr. Satan crap, the mutants, or the fun but time-wasting opening scene), it could have been much more fun.

[yendi]

I think the thing with HBO is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it means that we have to wait way too long between seasons. But it allows the creators to create on their terms, and it leads to some amazing TV that the tradition grind wouldn't support.

[philrancid.livejournal.com]

In the genre itself I was of course ignoring the paragons mentioned by you in favor of the other 90 percent of the genre--which has been turned out since the mid-eighties.

No doubt he would have had an awesome film, but there's the entertainment factor; that, and Rob has always struck me as some freakishly empowered Art Student, one with goals and motivations that have allowed him to succeed with his dark visions, as opposed to someone who could go and produce one of the greats.

[not-hothead-yet.livejournal.com]

Ho1Kc was just a big waste of time and film stock. I agree with the last commentor... I didn't see the point at all. I give it 2 CCM pts (Cold Creek Manor) out of five because although it was a waste and a "wha?" kinda movie, it did have some interesting visuals. Maybe not fascinating, but interesting.