A little-known prophecy

[yendi]

And on the sixth day of the sixth month of the sixth year of the, um, second millennium, the Beast shall attack the world, not with violence or corruption, but with a crappy remake of a movie that sure as hell didn't need to be remade in the first place. Critics shall hate it, except, inexplicably, Ebert and Roeper, whose mystical "Two Thumbs Up" shall cause scores of people to be exposed to, and bored by, this travesty. Julia Styles shall prove once again that she's a better supporting actress than lead*. John Moore will continue to convince people that he's a hack. And in three days, everyone will forget about it, because, you know, Cars.

So it was written, and so it shall come to pass.


*Yes, the prophecy agrees that she's hot, but really, every lead she's had following Ten Things I Hate About You has blown, while supporting parts in the Bourne films and State and Main have been just fine.