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The Plot Hole Murders
Jun. 10th, 2006 12:35 pmI just watched Tobe Hooper's The Toolbox Murders -- a remake of the overrated 1978 flick of the same name -- and I can honestly say that it's the best film Hooper's directed since 1980*. Alas, that speaks more to Hooper's inability to grow as a director than anything else.
The concept is pretty much what you'd expect. There's a murderer. He's got a toolbox. He actually doesn't murder folks with the toolbox (because nothing but bludgeoning deaths would be pretty boring), but with the stuff found inside the toolbox. It sounds like it should be fun, but Hooper manages to make being shot with a nailgun dull, let alone the more traditional kills. The collective IQ of the entire cast of characters barely trips triple digits, with folks constantly choosing to do the stupid thing time and again. The cast consists mostly of third rate folks clearly hoping that this will be the last hack-produce movie they'll have to do (Angela Bettis wants to be Sarah Polley so badly, it's almost touching; Juliet Landau clearly knows she's better than this material, and Rance Howard, well, let's remember that he's Clint's dad as well as Ron's). Throw in plot holes that you could drive a Hummer through, and you've got a movie that just should have been tossed on a shelf.
Oh, and if any of the "twists" at the end surprise you, please contact me. I've got a bridge or two you might be interested in purchasing.
*Depending on whether you credit Hooper or Spielberg for Poltergeist, of course.
The concept is pretty much what you'd expect. There's a murderer. He's got a toolbox. He actually doesn't murder folks with the toolbox (because nothing but bludgeoning deaths would be pretty boring), but with the stuff found inside the toolbox. It sounds like it should be fun, but Hooper manages to make being shot with a nailgun dull, let alone the more traditional kills. The collective IQ of the entire cast of characters barely trips triple digits, with folks constantly choosing to do the stupid thing time and again. The cast consists mostly of third rate folks clearly hoping that this will be the last hack-produce movie they'll have to do (Angela Bettis wants to be Sarah Polley so badly, it's almost touching; Juliet Landau clearly knows she's better than this material, and Rance Howard, well, let's remember that he's Clint's dad as well as Ron's). Throw in plot holes that you could drive a Hummer through, and you've got a movie that just should have been tossed on a shelf.
Oh, and if any of the "twists" at the end surprise you, please contact me. I've got a bridge or two you might be interested in purchasing.
*Depending on whether you credit Hooper or Spielberg for Poltergeist, of course.