Hollywood confirms yet another hot property

[yendi]

Peter Berg -- who's generally capable of directing two thirds of a good movie, then, unfortunately, releasing all three thirds of it -- has signed on to direct Battleship. As in the game.

I can already picture the final scene (potential spoilers ahoy):

Red Commander (from some unnamed Eastern European country): Ha! You'll never sink us now!

Ensign on Blue Ship: Sir! We've just triangulated that signal! It's coming from sector E-9!

Blue Commander: Then fire on E-9!

Red Commander (as his ship blows up around him): Noooo! You sunk my Battleship! ,

And just wait for the director's cut, in which Red Commander stands up and sneaks a quick look at Blue Commander's board while the latter is using the can, and then "coincidentally" sinks the Submarine and the Destroyer in five straight shots.

Comments

[tru2myart.livejournal.com]

:falls on the floor and dies laughing from the sheer stupidity of it all:

I think they're running out of ideas, I really do. You realize of course the next step is the Connect Four and Hungry, Hungry Hippos movies.

[yendi]

I'm pretty sure that the Connect Four movie (aka "Pretty Sneaky, Sis") will be an after-school special.

[tru2myart.livejournal.com]

(I just laughed so loud I woke the fiance up)

I agree. And Hungry, Hungry, Hippos will be the next generation Highlander series. "Whosoever's hippo gets the most marbles, WINS!!!"

[yendi]

In fact, given the state of his career, I'd bet that Adrian Paul is working on landing the role as the Green Hippo right now!

[goblinpaladin.livejournal.com]

I'm hallucinating this post because I haven't been sleeping well lately, right?

[yendi]

Nope. Nor are you hallucinating the upcoming Monopoly, Clue (again, and likely not a tenth as good as the '80s one), or Ouija films.

[lovingboth]

Take all of the marketing teams in Hollywood out and spork them, now.

Did you ever see I'm Alan Partridge (BBC comedy series about a bad TV personality) where he's pitching ideas for new programmes? It cannot be long before Monkey Tennis arrives.

[yendi]

I've only seen the occasional Youtube clip, I'm afraid. But Monkey Tennis sounds better than about 50% of current television (a medium that I still think is producing some fine stuff), and about 99% of movies (a medium that's long proven Sturgeon's Law to be an understatement).

[tewok.livejournal.com]

A movie? Sheesh. Battleship has come a long way since the pencils-and-graph-paper days.

[robyn-ma.livejournal.com]

There's already a trailer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrHs8CWDzmc).

[yendi]

And it even gives away most of the plot!

[robyn-ma.livejournal.com]

SPOILER: The kid falls into the water.

[siliconshaman.livejournal.com]

o.0

Are you kidding...or are they ?!

Have they really suck that low... I mean, Battleship for f**ks sake...

[agharta75.livejournal.com]

Coming next: YAHTZEE: THE MOVIE!