Karate downs and ups

[yendi]

Thursday night was one of the most painful I had (would have written it up then, but given LJ's condition and my lack of access, I didn't bother).

Elayna's sensei temporarily demoted her to white belt.

It wasn't without warning, and it shouldn't have been a surprise. She'd been putting in less than half-assed efforts during the last couple of weeks, and he'd been asking her to try harder. Her punches and kicks didn't even have a semblance of effort, and she wasn't working on her katas.

Needless to say, though, she was heartbroken, lack of effort or not. She cried -- bawled, actually -- on the entire walk home. And worse, I had to beat down every one of my instincts to just hold her and agree that this was unfair, and say that it would all get better. It wasn't unfair, and as I explained to her, her yellow belt wasn't a gift. It was something she had earned. And if she wasn't worthy of it, she could lose it. She was truly as upset as I'd ever seen her that night, and was talking about never wanting to go back to karate, how much she hated it, etc. I didn't respond to those comments, nor did shadesong when we got home and told her what happened. Elayna ate dessert, played on the computer until she was feeling a bit better, then went to bed. We all agreed we'd talk more about it on Friday.

When we were leaving the house on Friday, she back-kicked the door open, and explained that she wanted to get her kicks perfect to impress Sensei. That's when I knew things were ok. She understood that quitting wasn't the way to react to a setback, and to keep going. We never even talked about karate that afternoon.

And today, in spite of an initial reluctance to go to class, once she got there, she worked her butt off, and showed that she was capable

And at the end of class, when Sensei had them close their eyes, he brought out her yellow belt and tied it back around her. She showed that she can make the effort, and I'm damned proud of her.

Now, of course, the question is, can she sustain that effort. But she's talking like she's genuinely focused on her blue belt, at least for now.

Comments

[branwynelf.livejournal.com]

That's fantastic! And I'm glad Sensei recognized it and acted on it immediately. Demoting her obviously had the effect he was hoping it would.

[forestdweller.livejournal.com]

Thank you for posting that. Sometimes, what one needs to hear comes from surprising places.

"She understood that quitting wasn't the way to react to a setback, and to keep going."
I really needed to hear that, and I'm glad that Elayna learned that too.

[chrisv.livejournal.com]

*nods* I needed to hear that too. Way to go, Elayna!

[yendi]

Yeah, it's something I need to remind myself all too often, but it's nice to see her catching on so young! :-)

[blue-by-you.livejournal.com]

You handled that perfectly, and so did she. I feel proud of her, too.

[thegreyman.livejournal.com]

Unquestionably awsome. Sounds like you all did a great job of handling that. Moments like that make being a parent the greatest thing alive. = )

Re: Karate downs and ups

[wolfieboy.livejournal.com]

Wow. Congratulations to Elayna for coming through on this.
Kudos to you for not giving in to your instincts and doing a bang-up, wonderful job as a parent...

[fiddledragon]

*nod* Kritter tends to do much the same when she stops putting effort into things and gets called on it by her violin instructor (hasn't run into that with ballet yet though)...I'm waiting for similar to happen with Beena at ballet.

Glad to hear that she found her focus back :)