bad movies
Feb. 15th, 2004 12:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yendiSo, with Elayna at her Karate sleepover last night, I enjoyed the opportunity to spend the night reading, thanks to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
felisdemens loaning me her copy of Book of the Dead 2: Still Dead. I then watched the two worst movies of the last five years on Tivo.
They were Wendigo, starring Oscar-nominated Patricia Clarkson and Erik "Dewey" Per Sullivan, and Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever. Honestly, these movies are the reason that MST3K needs to be back on the air. Wendigo, I expected to suck, but I was still amazed at how much (Freeze-frame shots of a deer walking on two feet! Aieee!) Ballistic should, by virtue of having Antonio Banderas, Lucy Liu, and Ray Park, have managed some decent action scenes. Yet other than the great Liu/Park fight at the end, the action was ludicrously bad. Not even in a good way. It was like watching a train wreck. A very repetitive and boring train wreck. I'm pretty sure that the script was four pages long, which explains the constant use of slow motion (and not in a stylish, John Woo-when-he-was-good way). The IMDB reveals that the director has done nothing since, and almost nothing before. The writer gave us Left Behind: The Movie, Halloween 4, Spawn, and Rapid Fire, which should have been a major warning. Throw in Princess Kitana as Antonio's ex-wife (in a role that made no sense whatsoever), and you've got the suckfest of the century.
Both of these were on HBO. I wouldn't even bother with renting them or letting them waste space in your Netflix queue, unless you're throwing a party.
felisdemens loaning me her copy of Book of the Dead 2: Still Dead. I then watched the two worst movies of the last five years on Tivo.They were Wendigo, starring Oscar-nominated Patricia Clarkson and Erik "Dewey" Per Sullivan, and Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever. Honestly, these movies are the reason that MST3K needs to be back on the air. Wendigo, I expected to suck, but I was still amazed at how much (Freeze-frame shots of a deer walking on two feet! Aieee!) Ballistic should, by virtue of having Antonio Banderas, Lucy Liu, and Ray Park, have managed some decent action scenes. Yet other than the great Liu/Park fight at the end, the action was ludicrously bad. Not even in a good way. It was like watching a train wreck. A very repetitive and boring train wreck. I'm pretty sure that the script was four pages long, which explains the constant use of slow motion (and not in a stylish, John Woo-when-he-was-good way). The IMDB reveals that the director has done nothing since, and almost nothing before. The writer gave us Left Behind: The Movie, Halloween 4, Spawn, and Rapid Fire, which should have been a major warning. Throw in Princess Kitana as Antonio's ex-wife (in a role that made no sense whatsoever), and you've got the suckfest of the century.
Both of these were on HBO. I wouldn't even bother with renting them or letting them waste space in your Netflix queue, unless you're throwing a party.
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(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-15 09:07 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-15 09:08 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-15 09:19 am (UTC)o_O
Re:
Date: 2004-02-15 04:58 pm (UTC)Drecks vs. Sever
Date: 2004-02-15 09:21 am (UTC)I'm trying to persuade them to rent Glitter next time.
Re: Drecks vs. Sever
Date: 2004-02-15 05:01 pm (UTC)Re: Drecks vs. Sever
Date: 2004-02-15 07:12 pm (UTC)MST3K!
Date: 2004-02-15 09:37 am (UTC)I was such a MSTie. :) I miss that show. I need to find more copies on DVD! I have Beginning of the End on DVD, but that's the only one (aside from the movie - This Island Earth) that I've found so far that I wanted.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-15 11:53 am (UTC)On Ecks vs. Sever, Alan McElory was paid hundreds of thousands to write the first WWE film which shall star Triple H and be directed by Conan the Barbrarian's John Milius. The title? Jornada del muerte (http://movies.hsx.com/servlet/SecurityDetail?symbol=JORNA). Of course the film might never come out.
Re:
Date: 2004-02-15 05:11 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-15 02:43 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-15 04:57 pm (UTC)It didn't occur to me until just now that the filmmakers were obviously working in the post-Blair Witch era, and probably assumed that seasickness and rural hauntings were all they needed to make something scary.
Re:
Date: 2004-02-16 10:23 am (UTC)