Coming next year to Fox:

[yendi]

Fucking with the Stars.

In the grand tradition of Dancing With The Stars and Skating with Celebrities, Fox is taking seven also-rans, pairing them up with porn stars, and seeing if they have what it takes to film a hardcore XXX video!

Celebrities scheduled include:

Alleged Comedienne Kathy Griffen.
Former Future Hall of Famer Mark McGuire.
Lip-synching, chest-bumping sensation Fabrice Morvan.
Ex-MTV VJ (from when they had videos) "Downtown" Julie Brown.
One of of the most enduring voices in pop music, Taylor Dayne.
The man who put the Vice in Miami, Philip Michael Thomas.
And, the man who killed Apollo Creed, Dolph Lundgren.

Each round will ramp up the challenges, as the contestants move from basic tasks like working with a fluffer and remembering to pull out/have your partner pull out for the money shot to more perverted and risque fare. Can Kathy Griffen perform three minutes of analingus on special Guest Hairy Ass Robin Williams? Will Mark McGuire learn to play catcher? Will Dolph have an unfair advantage in any events involving gerbils? Watch and find out!

Featuring special surprise guests (who will the star of the final round's Necrophilia Challenge be? Could she share a name with a certain Georgia city?), along with host Ron Jeremy and judges Al Goldstein, Christie Hefner, and Jimmy Swaggart.

Coming next September to Fox, where "taste" is something you have to wash out of your mouth every day.

Comments

[misskitten77.livejournal.com]

*wipes a tear away* Hehehehe...man you are killing me. That is too funny. I'm so waiting for that to hit VH1 at least.

[yendi]

What's sad is, I'm not sure they wouldn't jump at the chance.

[dr-nebula.livejournal.com]

*snickers*

After dealing with this friggen crud, this made my day.. My favorite - Can Kathy Griffen perform three minutes of analingus on special guest hairy ass Robin Williams?

[yendi]

Your favorite, and Robin's!

[merrick42.livejournal.com]

I, for one, can't wait for the final round's surprise guest!

Gods, is it wrong that I know who you mean and know who is Al Goldstein is?

[yendi]

I see nothing wrong with knowing either of those. Hell, I consider Al Goldstein to be one of those cultural icons that everyone should be familiar with.

[stevietee.livejournal.com]

And UPN will follow up with America's Next Top Porn Star!

[yendi]

They alread have that -- what did you think was going to happen to the runners up on America's Top Model?

[dustyskinandall.livejournal.com]

Ha!

( i think i just threw up a little.)

[yendi]

(They're not exploring vomit play until season 2)

[bethynyc.livejournal.com]

I think you should send this as a proposal to FOX executive management. They would be all over it!

[yendi]

Sadly, it's probably too tame for them.

[theferrett.livejournal.com]

I'd totally watch that.

[yendi]

Actually, as I wrote this, I realized it was generally less offensive than at least half the stuff they air. Truly sad.

I'd watch the show, too.

[celticfeministw.livejournal.com]

BWAH! Oh dear lawd. I'm gasping for breath over here.


Not to mention weeping slightly at the thought that this could easily be a show FOX would consider.

[yendi]

:-) Thanks!

[celticfeministw.livejournal.com]

I should add that I particularly loved the last line:

Coming next September to Fox, where "taste" is something you have to wash out of your mouth every day.

Too.fargin'.funny.

[yendi]

Hey, that's actually their official motto. It's written on their letterhead.

[celticfeministw.livejournal.com]

Hee! I would so love to have that on a t-shirt. I'd wear it proudly.

Of course, that does explain the airing of 99% of their shows.

[dragontdc.livejournal.com]

Har!

[creentmerveille.livejournal.com]

I think I love you. :)

[yendi]

I swear, back when I was single, I shouldn't used things like this when I was filling out those jdate bios. :-)

[sirinek.livejournal.com]

No. The necrophelia challenge will star Rob Pilatus, and it will double as the long-awaited Milli Vanilli reunion!

[rowancat.livejournal.com]

This is hilarious and probably not at all as farfetched as it seems at first. In some ways a *lot* more honest then most of their programming (though i like Family Guy and to a lesser degree American Dad)

[muse0fire.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

I'm having a crappy day and I needed that spit-take.

Maybe Kevin Federline can "rap" for the theme song...

[yendi]

:-) Glad to help out!

And I shudder at any mention of Federline. I had the chance to download the single for free. I passed. I do not want to hear it.

[lordrexfear.livejournal.com]

I'd personally be all over a porn that had Kathy Griffen or Downtown Julie Brown... especially if they're in the same scene... growl.

[yendi]

Nah -- they'll be competing, each using an independent pro porn star.

[lordrexfear.livejournal.com]

Actually I meant I wouldn't mind seeing Kathy Griffen in a porn, screw the "show"... ;)

[jmfunnyface.livejournal.com]

Not on Fox, but still thought you'd get a chuckle out of this http://www.livejournal.com/community/ohnotheydidnt/4538788.html

[yendi]

Oy. They cancelled Threshold for that shit?

[modpixie.livejournal.com]

"fox became a hardcore porn station so gradually, i almost didn't notice!"

[yendi]

*snort* I'd forgotten that quote!

[jmspencer.livejournal.com]

May I metaquotes this?

[yendi]

Have at it!

[allroads.livejournal.com]

Stupid FOX. This is totally a rip off of the new NBC reality show that was supposed to involve a hole in the side of a bathroom stall and special C-list celebrities, "You Don't Know Who You're Fucking With"

[yendi]

AKA "Celebrity Glory Holes?"

[digriz.livejournal.com]

Sadly enough, I didn't realize you were joking until I read the whole thing. Whether this is indictative of the lack of sleep from travelling back from Key West today, or the current quality of Fox programming, I can't say.

[yendi]

I'd vote for the latter.