X-3

[yendi]

The good news: X-Men: The Last Stand is not the worst movie starring Hugh Jackman. Of course, in a universe in which Van Helsing exists (and see my opinion of that particular flick over here), that's pretty much a given.

Actually, the entire movie didn't suck as much as I thought it would, but when you go in with low expectations, it helps.

The movie did, most definitely, suck eight kinds of ass. But there were a few cute lines, and the final battle scene (other than the minor lapse of a director completely failing to notice that some scenes take place at day and some at night) is actually pretty decent.

Other than that, people die. None die heroically, originally, or interestingly. Comic-book history and continuity is pretty much unwillingly sodomized from the get-go. Most characters appear for two or three lines and then vanish, their gimmick having been shown off.

Acting-wise, most folks are fine (even Halle Berry), but the Royal Fucking Shakespeare Company couldn't do much with this script.

On the plus side, we saw the trailer for Superman Returns and Snakes on a Motherfucking Plane, which are pretty much my only must-see movies this summer. We also saw the first trailer for Ghost Rider, which looks like it might be fun (Eva Mendes is due for her second good movie eventually, and Peter Fonda as Mephisto should be an inspired choice)..

Comments

[dark-blade.livejournal.com]

I was surprised, and somewhat impressed, with Halle Berry this time.

[yendi]

I suspect that it might be the one thing that Ratner genuinely deserves credit for. I got the impression that Singer generally left her alone, and she clearly needs guidance.

[texmorgan.livejournal.com]

My only hope is that Scott isn't totally out of the picture. Also, what happened to Night Crawler? Did you also notice how they basically ruined any chance of Psylocke ever being cool. I hope they eventually go back to the blood lines. And the two endings pissed me off more than anything.

[yendi]

I understand not using Nightcrawler in this movie (money, a need to not have 204 characters, etc), but not mentioning him at all annoyed me.

I suspect that Scott is gone -- it felt like Marsden took collateral damage for jumping to Singer's Superman flick.

[texmorgan.livejournal.com]

I can't tell if they killed off Omega Red too or if that character was some miscellaneous mutant. It's just so sad to see all the great plots of X-Men die in a single movie. I'm still waiting for appearances of Gambit and Mojo. Honestly, I was really upset about the entire movie because it basically destroyed any chance of a great story like the Xecutioner's Song ever coming into fruition by killing off the Summers bloodline. Just throwing away some of the great villains of the X-men series is what really pissed me off as well as the fact that it wasn't Rogue used to kill Jean Grey; conversely, I was happy to see Angel finally find his way into the picture.

[amokk]

The one throwing bone-shards was a mutant named either Marrow, Omega Junior, or some combination. While Omega Red was in the credits, from what I've heard he was a background shot in the woods (like how Hank McCoy was a background shot in X2).

Gambit was suppossed to cameo in this one, but they couldn't get the actor they wanted, so they didn't bother with it. Lucky Gambit.

[amokk]

What happened to Nightcrawler is that Alan Cummings didn't want to do 12 hours of makeup for another movie, and as much screentime as he would probably have gotten, I don't blame him.

[kradical.livejournal.com]

Van Helsing had at least one virtue for me: it was the onscreen portrayal of the Frankenstein monster that was closest to Mary Shelley's novel. (And the fact that that movie was closest is as sad a commentary on the filmed history of that novel as any.)

Not that either film was good by any means, but I took more solace from VH than I did from the giant, steaming moose turd that was X3....

[yendi]

They got points for their Frank (who also turned in the only good performance in the movie), but the rest of the film was enough to offset it.

Thats not in any way to criticize the films that James Whale made, which are fucking brilliant, just not perfect adaptations.

[robyn-ma.livejournal.com]

'pretty much my only must-see movies this summer'

What, no love for Little Man?

[yendi]

We were forced to sit through six commercials for it in the lobby while waiting for the rest of 'song's family to emerge from their movies. I feel confident that it will be considered one of the twenty best movies directed by KIW.

We did see the preview for My Super Ex-Girlfriend, which looks cute.

[thelastrobot.livejournal.com]

Man, I will never see Ratner's Last Stand. But I will say that the makers of My Super Ex-Girlfriend have faith in their picture. They didn't even bother to give it an engaging title.

"This movie is brills murray! We could call it Shitty McDaniel and people will still flock to it! Zoom!"

That's how I imagine movie execs talk.

[cieo.livejournal.com]

X3 was fun, though. I think that most people went to see the movie with that expectation--mindless entertainment with lots of explosions.

And Van Helsing is definitely on my short list of contenders for the worst movie to be made in cinematic history. I enjoyed your review of it, although I must add that Beckinsale managed to survive a 50 ft. drop by a flying monkey earlier in the movie, but was killed by a comparatively gentle toss onto an overstuffed couch. You know, that movie could have worked if it had been intentionally funny. Alas. I'm glad I didn't pay to see it.

[phantom_wolfboy]

You mean it wasn't a comedy? Come on, they couldn't have produced some of those lines by accident, could they?

[zeyr.livejournal.com]

Even my son was unimpressed with how casually they threw away both Xavier and Scott Summers. "It was like they didn't even matter to the movie."

It was...well...bland. I think the big problem is that Brian Singer realized the story was about the characters and Brett Ratner thinks it is about the plot and the action. Well, that and the fact that the plot reminded me of stone stew (just throw in more things and it will be better, right?).

In the first two, the cameos and references were happy circumstances that added depth to the world. In this one, they were "well, throw in this character for the geeks to recognize...that'll get them excited".

*sigh*

[meardaba.livejournal.com]

What about Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest? That's my only must-see movie this summer. Do you have NO expectations of that one?

[yendi]

Point. I'd forgotten about that one.

[jerel.livejournal.com]

We didn't get a Snakes on a Plane trailer ::grumps:: The film "broke" during the Ghostrider trailer, right as the flames come on the motorcycle. LOL.

The whole day-night thing drove me to utter distraction. I turned to Mr. Jerel and said "Wasn't it just daylight?" He'd been half asleep and didn't notice. :) I spent most of the battle scene going "what happened to the daytime?" Nice to know I didn't just imagine it.

[yendi]

That fact that he fell half-asleep says as much as anything about the quality of the movie. :-)

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

Eva Mendes is due for her second good movie eventually

Please to be telling us which is the Eva Mendes film that's good for more than the looking at the Eva Mendes...

[yendi]

Training Day, of course. Not that it was her movie, per se, but she was in it.