261 Days of Horror, Day 38: See No Evil
Feb. 21st, 2007 08:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yendiSee No Evil. 2006. Directed by Gregory Dark. Written by Dan Madigan. Produce by Lion's Gate and WWE Films.
The scariest moment in See No Evil takes place before we've seen a single scene. There, right after we get the Lion's Gate logo, is a phrase that strikes fear into the heart of moviegoers everywhere: WWE Films. Granted, Walking Tall wasn't half bad, but for the most part, this is not a stamp of quality.
The opening credits contain something almost as frightening: "Directed by Gregory Dark." Dark has a ton of classics to his name, like New Wave Hookers, New Wave Hookers 2, New Wave Hookers 3, and (surprise!) New Wave Hookers 4. Other franchises that he's driven include Between the Cheeks, The Creasemaster, and Animal Instincts. Granted, other directors have worked porn and horror (William Lustig comes to mind), but few have less artistic talent on either side of the fence than Dark.
We open with quick cuts! It's like an MTV video on speed! Which makes sense, since Dark's been directing crap videos since he left the porn industry. We see a dark house with religious artifacts, and we hear screaming. Two cops drive up the road and knock on the door. When they hear a girl scream, they burst in, where they find lots of crosses and blood everywhere! They wander through the house until they come to a girl crouched on the floor. As they look at her in horror (the camera looks away, so we don't know what they see yet), out of nowhere, something big and nasty assaults one cop with an axe! The figure then chops off the arm of the other cop, but with his one good hand, the cop gets a shot off and hits the attacker, who runs off into another series of MTV-style quick cuts. As he calls in an "officer down" emergency on his radio, the cop stares at the girl, whose eyes have been gouged out! Gasp!
We now see a bunch of reporters outside the house, all detailing the gruesome slaughter of the other cop and the seven other victims (all with eyes gouged out) as the credits roll. The surviving cop, needless to say, is more than a little traumatized, as we see four years later, when he sees visions of the killer everywhere he goes. The cop (generically named Frank Williams) now mentors troubled youths, helping them work community service to stay out of juvie.
We meet our troubled youths/villain fodder, using the clever technique of freeze-framing on each of them mid-conversation and showing their name and crime. We have the usual gamut -- shoplifters, hackers, drug dealers, thieves, etc. Likewise, they cover the traditional personality archetypes, from slut to punk to skater to stoner to nerd. It's like the Breakfast Club with a few extra characters. And imminent death.
They pull up to the Blackwell Hotel, where they can help renovate the place in exchange for early release. As soon as they enter the hotel, all of the cameras switch back to the quick cuts, which, when combined with the lack of lighting*, makes things look very much like Saw. And when the folks behind a movie aren't even original enough to rip off a good horror movie for their look, you know they're in trouble.
We get about fifteen minutes of "character development," as the assorted bad-but-pretty actors and actresses wander around and flirt, smoke, and goof off. They also seem to be watched by something creepy. That's because, in a startling coincidence, this rundown hotel just happens to be the same place that the escaped killer from the opening scene has been hiding out. His name is Jacob Goodnight, and he now has a plate in his skull and really long fingernails.
He shares the hotel with cockroaches and rats. A lot of cockroaches and rats. In fact, assume that we get random shots of roaches and rats before, during, and after every scene from this point forward. It's almost like the producer had tons of stock footage of roaches and rats in abandoned houses, and decided to dump them into this film to make it longer than twenty minutes.
After what seems an eternity, Goodnight finally gets annoyed by all the obnoxious folks wandering around and starts killing them. Okay, it helps that two of the kids have discovered some eyeless bodies in the hotel. As one of them (the computer hacker, who has "first victim" written all over him) attempts to get back to the cop, Goodnight throws a chain with a hook on the end into his ankle and reels the kid in. The killer then smashes his victim against the wall as the other kid runs off.
Next to die is the female corrections officer, who attempts to take the elevator to 2, but ends up at the top of the hotel. In a move that makes no sense at all, the killer somehow appears in the elevator, grabs the woman, and smashes her head into the ceiling. He then scoops out her eyes and drops them into a liquid-filled jar, presumably to pickle and later use as a garnish.
The cop and the hotel's manager finally become aware of the murders when Goodnight rides down in a dumbwaiter, hooks a girl in the neck, and drags her screaming back into the dumbwaiter. The cop sends the manager (an older lady) out to get help, and he and the tough girl (the only living teenager downstairs that we know of) head to the penthouse, where the other kids are. They do manage to find the one kid who was with the hacker, and we get the backstory (such as it is) retelling the opening scene. We do learn that the one victim Goodnight left alive had tattoos featuring religious markings, just like the girl who got dragged into the dumbwaiter. A mystery!
The cop gives a spare gun to the tough chick, and as they head down a hallway, a hook lowers from the ceiling and impales the cop through the throat, lifting him up through the ceiling**. The gun fires a few times, but eventually, his dead body plummets to the floor. As the two teens run away, we cut to the other four kids, partying upstairs, oblivious to everything else. They're smoking weed and two of them split off for sex, so you know things are looking bad for them.
We also see the tattooed girl tied up and gagged, with Goodnight creepily running his fingers over her like, well, every creepy horror movie villain ever. He throws her into a cage, and when she recovers, he wanders over to the still-living hacker and plucks the kid's eyes out. He then drags the girl out of the room, where he caresses her tattoos and is just generally creepy, never saying a word.
As the couple that snuck off for a booty call starts to make out, a warning bell goes off in Goodnight's lair. No, the bell doesn't go off when the couple enters the room, or when they sit down on the bed. It rings when they start making out. That's the best alarm system ever.
The girl on the bed thinks she hears something from the mirror, and the boy goes to investigate. Everything seems okay, but then a large shape looms in the mirror, and Goodnight comes crashing through it!
A chase ensues, but the lovers eventually hide in a storage room and lock the door behind them. They get the brilliant idea of opening the window, tying a firehose around the woman, and having her boyfriend lower her eight stories. I should note that the guy looks well-built, but not nearly well built enough to heft her weight.
It's a moot point, because after about four stories of lowering, she starts getting hauled up again. Oh noes! Goodnight has gotten to her boyfriend, and only avoids grabbing her because, as she struggles, she slips, half-falls, and ends up dangling with her foot in the hose. Goodnight decides that instead of dragging her up, he can just drop her, where she goes crashing through a skylight and ends up dangling a foot off the ground. While Goodnight pauses to scoop out the eyes of the boy, a pack of ravenous dogs, smelling her blood, attack the dangling girl.
Seriously. It's like Goodnight is tag-teaming with Death from the Final Destination movies.
We're down to four kids now -- the tough chick and her friend downstairs, and the shoplifter and the other guy***. The ones upstairs, still oblivious to everything (must be a very quiet hotel), head to the elevator to head down. The door opens with a swarm of flies, leading the audience to assume that the killer's in it, but he's actually in the hallway, right next to the shoplifter! He swings his axe, but somehow misses them both, and they get away and lock themselves into a room.
Goodnight eventually makes it to the same room, and checks all the usual spaces (under the bed, in the shower, in the wardrobe, etc.), destroying each one in the process, because that's how he rolls. He manages to overlook the shoplifter, failing to see her buried under some debris, but as he walks back down the hallway, he gets that look that bad actors and mimes get when they want to indicate that they forgot something.
Goodnight walks back in, finds the hidden girl, and grabs her. As he does so, he has a flashback! We see Goodnight as a young boy, trapped in a cage by his overly religious mother. That explains the murder spree! Oh, wait, it doesn't. Realizing that the flashback was pointless, he snaps out of it, grabs the shoplifter's cellphone (stolen from the female corrections officer), and rams it down her throat.
We cut to the tough girl and the guy who was the friend of the hacker. They hear someone coming, and in spite of the fact that, as far as they know, most of their friends are still alive, they assume it's the killer. Naturally, the person they shoot at turns out to be the guy who'd been with the shoplifter (how he got away is never explained). They miss, and we get one more shot of Goodnight putting eyeballs in a jar.
The three survivors stumble across a tripwire, and realize that they've alerted Goodnight. They see the elevator start downward, and prepare to make a final stand, armed collectively with a gun, a pipe, and a knife. Of course, the elevator opens to reveal nothing. As the heroes stand there in shock****, Goodnight attacks them, smashing the head of the final guy from the upstairs crowd into a wall and throwing him through some glass. The final two kids make it into the elevator, then through the escape hatch ahead of Goodnight (using a stun gun in the process).
Searching for Kyra (the girl kidnapped and thrown in a cage half a movie ago), they find Goodnight's lair and all the jars of eyeballs. As they go further in and find Kyra, we see Goodnight going into his lair. The two kids hide, and Goodnight comes in, looks at his victim for a bit, and has more flashbacks, during which we learn that Goodnight's mother would taunt him while he was in the cage.
He's snapped out of his reverie by the sound of glass breaking. The one surviving guy is smashing jars of eyeballs in another room. When Goodnight goes to investigate, the guy hides, and the other surviving girl goes in to free Kyra. It's a great plan, but as the shoplifter found out, you can't hide from Goodnight (who seems to now be able to smell teenagers; the scent of Teen Spirit is powerful). Goodnight grabs the eyeball smasher, uses the kid's own stun gun to incapacitate him, and then crushes him against the wall by pushing a safe against him. I want to note that the filming of this scene, with a close-up of the kid's face shaking violently, is even more blatantly lifted from Saw than the rest of the movie.
The door opens on Kyra and Angry Girl (although the latter hides in time), and in walks the old lady who owns the hotel! She asks Kyra what she's doing in there, and the girl's about to answer, when in walks Goodnight! The old lady turns to him, and asks, "why is that whore still alive?" We get an explanation: The mother lured them here to get revenge on the cop who hurt her son., and believes that she and her son are doing God's work. Omigodz! What a twist! It's like Psycho without the split personality! Or any personality!
The mother tries to convince Goodnight to kill Kyra, but the tattoos make it hard for him to do it. The mother offers to shoot her herself, but Goodnight stops her, and they struggle so much, we get another flashback! This time, we see a girl that Goodnight liked tied down to the bed while his mother explains how evil she is. Mother plucks out the girl's eyes with her fingers and shows them to Goodnight to show him the "evil in her eyes." And thus the eye-plucking spree is explained. Except, you know, not.
Back in the present, Mother thinks she's convinced Goodnight to kill Kyra, but instead, Goodnight rebels, and throws her against a spike on the wall. He then grabs Kyra from the cage and drags her out of the room. Angry Girl (who was still in hiding) follows, and finds Goodnight cradling Kyra and rocking like a parody of autism on a bed. She points her gun at him, and, point blank, pulls the trigger. The gun was out of bullets! Oh Noes! This snaps the killer out of his reverie, and he grabs the gun and Angry Girl.
Both girls get strangled a little bit, and then Goodnight moves to pop out Angry Girl's eyes. Just as things look bad for the ladies, here comes the guy who was knocked out in front of the elevator and whom Goodnight for some reason never bothered finishing off! He smashes Goodnight with a lead pipe, breaking his knee and eventually smashing a hole in the killer's head. They all run off, and when Goodnight follows them into a room, they lure him to the window and push him out. Just as they assume they've won, a hand reaches up -- somehow, these idiots never saw any of the 8000 movies in which villains (or even heroes) would fail to fall to their deaths.
The heroes smash Goodnight's fingers, and finally stick the lead pipe in his eye, causing him to plummet to his death. As he finally lands, we get a bizarre swipe from House showing his heart being pierced and bleeding out. The three survivors walk out, and then, during the closing credits, we get the most annoying gratuitous scene evar. One of the local dogs comes up to Goodnight's body and pisses in his empty eye socket.
Let me be blunt: I want the 80+ minutes I spent watching See No Evil back. There's nothing worthwhile in this movie, unless you're a big fan of cinematic copycats. The cast -- featuring WWE villain Kane***** -- has the combined acting chops of a syphilitic hamster. Kane himself comes across better than the rest, if only because he's not given any of first-time (and, if there's a god, last-time) screenwriter Dan Madigan's horrible dialogue to chew on. Of course, he does have to suffer through the ludicrous plot, but I suspect that filming this movie was a lot less painful than watching it. Director Dark actually seems less competent now than he was twenty years ago, using his namesake darkness to cover up his inability to ever once have the camera offer us an interesting shot.
Avoid this film. It's a bad, bad, awful piece of fourth-rate crap, and possibly the least original movie ever filmed.
*There's exactly one lightbulb in the entire hotel, it seems.
**This murder was pretty much swiped from I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. Again, if you're swiping from utter crap, you're going to end up with copied crap.
***What? It's not like the characters are interesting enough to have names, or even much in the way of personality. "The other guy" is as good a way to describe him.
****Because none of them have ever seen a movie before, one assumes.
*****Or, for the old-schoolers, Dr. Isaac Yankem, evil wrestling dentist.
The scariest moment in See No Evil takes place before we've seen a single scene. There, right after we get the Lion's Gate logo, is a phrase that strikes fear into the heart of moviegoers everywhere: WWE Films. Granted, Walking Tall wasn't half bad, but for the most part, this is not a stamp of quality.
The opening credits contain something almost as frightening: "Directed by Gregory Dark." Dark has a ton of classics to his name, like New Wave Hookers, New Wave Hookers 2, New Wave Hookers 3, and (surprise!) New Wave Hookers 4. Other franchises that he's driven include Between the Cheeks, The Creasemaster, and Animal Instincts. Granted, other directors have worked porn and horror (William Lustig comes to mind), but few have less artistic talent on either side of the fence than Dark.
We open with quick cuts! It's like an MTV video on speed! Which makes sense, since Dark's been directing crap videos since he left the porn industry. We see a dark house with religious artifacts, and we hear screaming. Two cops drive up the road and knock on the door. When they hear a girl scream, they burst in, where they find lots of crosses and blood everywhere! They wander through the house until they come to a girl crouched on the floor. As they look at her in horror (the camera looks away, so we don't know what they see yet), out of nowhere, something big and nasty assaults one cop with an axe! The figure then chops off the arm of the other cop, but with his one good hand, the cop gets a shot off and hits the attacker, who runs off into another series of MTV-style quick cuts. As he calls in an "officer down" emergency on his radio, the cop stares at the girl, whose eyes have been gouged out! Gasp!
We now see a bunch of reporters outside the house, all detailing the gruesome slaughter of the other cop and the seven other victims (all with eyes gouged out) as the credits roll. The surviving cop, needless to say, is more than a little traumatized, as we see four years later, when he sees visions of the killer everywhere he goes. The cop (generically named Frank Williams) now mentors troubled youths, helping them work community service to stay out of juvie.
We meet our troubled youths/villain fodder, using the clever technique of freeze-framing on each of them mid-conversation and showing their name and crime. We have the usual gamut -- shoplifters, hackers, drug dealers, thieves, etc. Likewise, they cover the traditional personality archetypes, from slut to punk to skater to stoner to nerd. It's like the Breakfast Club with a few extra characters. And imminent death.
They pull up to the Blackwell Hotel, where they can help renovate the place in exchange for early release. As soon as they enter the hotel, all of the cameras switch back to the quick cuts, which, when combined with the lack of lighting*, makes things look very much like Saw. And when the folks behind a movie aren't even original enough to rip off a good horror movie for their look, you know they're in trouble.
We get about fifteen minutes of "character development," as the assorted bad-but-pretty actors and actresses wander around and flirt, smoke, and goof off. They also seem to be watched by something creepy. That's because, in a startling coincidence, this rundown hotel just happens to be the same place that the escaped killer from the opening scene has been hiding out. His name is Jacob Goodnight, and he now has a plate in his skull and really long fingernails.
He shares the hotel with cockroaches and rats. A lot of cockroaches and rats. In fact, assume that we get random shots of roaches and rats before, during, and after every scene from this point forward. It's almost like the producer had tons of stock footage of roaches and rats in abandoned houses, and decided to dump them into this film to make it longer than twenty minutes.
After what seems an eternity, Goodnight finally gets annoyed by all the obnoxious folks wandering around and starts killing them. Okay, it helps that two of the kids have discovered some eyeless bodies in the hotel. As one of them (the computer hacker, who has "first victim" written all over him) attempts to get back to the cop, Goodnight throws a chain with a hook on the end into his ankle and reels the kid in. The killer then smashes his victim against the wall as the other kid runs off.
Next to die is the female corrections officer, who attempts to take the elevator to 2, but ends up at the top of the hotel. In a move that makes no sense at all, the killer somehow appears in the elevator, grabs the woman, and smashes her head into the ceiling. He then scoops out her eyes and drops them into a liquid-filled jar, presumably to pickle and later use as a garnish.
The cop and the hotel's manager finally become aware of the murders when Goodnight rides down in a dumbwaiter, hooks a girl in the neck, and drags her screaming back into the dumbwaiter. The cop sends the manager (an older lady) out to get help, and he and the tough girl (the only living teenager downstairs that we know of) head to the penthouse, where the other kids are. They do manage to find the one kid who was with the hacker, and we get the backstory (such as it is) retelling the opening scene. We do learn that the one victim Goodnight left alive had tattoos featuring religious markings, just like the girl who got dragged into the dumbwaiter. A mystery!
The cop gives a spare gun to the tough chick, and as they head down a hallway, a hook lowers from the ceiling and impales the cop through the throat, lifting him up through the ceiling**. The gun fires a few times, but eventually, his dead body plummets to the floor. As the two teens run away, we cut to the other four kids, partying upstairs, oblivious to everything else. They're smoking weed and two of them split off for sex, so you know things are looking bad for them.
We also see the tattooed girl tied up and gagged, with Goodnight creepily running his fingers over her like, well, every creepy horror movie villain ever. He throws her into a cage, and when she recovers, he wanders over to the still-living hacker and plucks the kid's eyes out. He then drags the girl out of the room, where he caresses her tattoos and is just generally creepy, never saying a word.
As the couple that snuck off for a booty call starts to make out, a warning bell goes off in Goodnight's lair. No, the bell doesn't go off when the couple enters the room, or when they sit down on the bed. It rings when they start making out. That's the best alarm system ever.
The girl on the bed thinks she hears something from the mirror, and the boy goes to investigate. Everything seems okay, but then a large shape looms in the mirror, and Goodnight comes crashing through it!
A chase ensues, but the lovers eventually hide in a storage room and lock the door behind them. They get the brilliant idea of opening the window, tying a firehose around the woman, and having her boyfriend lower her eight stories. I should note that the guy looks well-built, but not nearly well built enough to heft her weight.
It's a moot point, because after about four stories of lowering, she starts getting hauled up again. Oh noes! Goodnight has gotten to her boyfriend, and only avoids grabbing her because, as she struggles, she slips, half-falls, and ends up dangling with her foot in the hose. Goodnight decides that instead of dragging her up, he can just drop her, where she goes crashing through a skylight and ends up dangling a foot off the ground. While Goodnight pauses to scoop out the eyes of the boy, a pack of ravenous dogs, smelling her blood, attack the dangling girl.
Seriously. It's like Goodnight is tag-teaming with Death from the Final Destination movies.
We're down to four kids now -- the tough chick and her friend downstairs, and the shoplifter and the other guy***. The ones upstairs, still oblivious to everything (must be a very quiet hotel), head to the elevator to head down. The door opens with a swarm of flies, leading the audience to assume that the killer's in it, but he's actually in the hallway, right next to the shoplifter! He swings his axe, but somehow misses them both, and they get away and lock themselves into a room.
Goodnight eventually makes it to the same room, and checks all the usual spaces (under the bed, in the shower, in the wardrobe, etc.), destroying each one in the process, because that's how he rolls. He manages to overlook the shoplifter, failing to see her buried under some debris, but as he walks back down the hallway, he gets that look that bad actors and mimes get when they want to indicate that they forgot something.
Goodnight walks back in, finds the hidden girl, and grabs her. As he does so, he has a flashback! We see Goodnight as a young boy, trapped in a cage by his overly religious mother. That explains the murder spree! Oh, wait, it doesn't. Realizing that the flashback was pointless, he snaps out of it, grabs the shoplifter's cellphone (stolen from the female corrections officer), and rams it down her throat.
We cut to the tough girl and the guy who was the friend of the hacker. They hear someone coming, and in spite of the fact that, as far as they know, most of their friends are still alive, they assume it's the killer. Naturally, the person they shoot at turns out to be the guy who'd been with the shoplifter (how he got away is never explained). They miss, and we get one more shot of Goodnight putting eyeballs in a jar.
The three survivors stumble across a tripwire, and realize that they've alerted Goodnight. They see the elevator start downward, and prepare to make a final stand, armed collectively with a gun, a pipe, and a knife. Of course, the elevator opens to reveal nothing. As the heroes stand there in shock****, Goodnight attacks them, smashing the head of the final guy from the upstairs crowd into a wall and throwing him through some glass. The final two kids make it into the elevator, then through the escape hatch ahead of Goodnight (using a stun gun in the process).
Searching for Kyra (the girl kidnapped and thrown in a cage half a movie ago), they find Goodnight's lair and all the jars of eyeballs. As they go further in and find Kyra, we see Goodnight going into his lair. The two kids hide, and Goodnight comes in, looks at his victim for a bit, and has more flashbacks, during which we learn that Goodnight's mother would taunt him while he was in the cage.
He's snapped out of his reverie by the sound of glass breaking. The one surviving guy is smashing jars of eyeballs in another room. When Goodnight goes to investigate, the guy hides, and the other surviving girl goes in to free Kyra. It's a great plan, but as the shoplifter found out, you can't hide from Goodnight (who seems to now be able to smell teenagers; the scent of Teen Spirit is powerful). Goodnight grabs the eyeball smasher, uses the kid's own stun gun to incapacitate him, and then crushes him against the wall by pushing a safe against him. I want to note that the filming of this scene, with a close-up of the kid's face shaking violently, is even more blatantly lifted from Saw than the rest of the movie.
The door opens on Kyra and Angry Girl (although the latter hides in time), and in walks the old lady who owns the hotel! She asks Kyra what she's doing in there, and the girl's about to answer, when in walks Goodnight! The old lady turns to him, and asks, "why is that whore still alive?" We get an explanation: The mother lured them here to get revenge on the cop who hurt her son., and believes that she and her son are doing God's work. Omigodz! What a twist! It's like Psycho without the split personality! Or any personality!
The mother tries to convince Goodnight to kill Kyra, but the tattoos make it hard for him to do it. The mother offers to shoot her herself, but Goodnight stops her, and they struggle so much, we get another flashback! This time, we see a girl that Goodnight liked tied down to the bed while his mother explains how evil she is. Mother plucks out the girl's eyes with her fingers and shows them to Goodnight to show him the "evil in her eyes." And thus the eye-plucking spree is explained. Except, you know, not.
Back in the present, Mother thinks she's convinced Goodnight to kill Kyra, but instead, Goodnight rebels, and throws her against a spike on the wall. He then grabs Kyra from the cage and drags her out of the room. Angry Girl (who was still in hiding) follows, and finds Goodnight cradling Kyra and rocking like a parody of autism on a bed. She points her gun at him, and, point blank, pulls the trigger. The gun was out of bullets! Oh Noes! This snaps the killer out of his reverie, and he grabs the gun and Angry Girl.
Both girls get strangled a little bit, and then Goodnight moves to pop out Angry Girl's eyes. Just as things look bad for the ladies, here comes the guy who was knocked out in front of the elevator and whom Goodnight for some reason never bothered finishing off! He smashes Goodnight with a lead pipe, breaking his knee and eventually smashing a hole in the killer's head. They all run off, and when Goodnight follows them into a room, they lure him to the window and push him out. Just as they assume they've won, a hand reaches up -- somehow, these idiots never saw any of the 8000 movies in which villains (or even heroes) would fail to fall to their deaths.
The heroes smash Goodnight's fingers, and finally stick the lead pipe in his eye, causing him to plummet to his death. As he finally lands, we get a bizarre swipe from House showing his heart being pierced and bleeding out. The three survivors walk out, and then, during the closing credits, we get the most annoying gratuitous scene evar. One of the local dogs comes up to Goodnight's body and pisses in his empty eye socket.
Let me be blunt: I want the 80+ minutes I spent watching See No Evil back. There's nothing worthwhile in this movie, unless you're a big fan of cinematic copycats. The cast -- featuring WWE villain Kane***** -- has the combined acting chops of a syphilitic hamster. Kane himself comes across better than the rest, if only because he's not given any of first-time (and, if there's a god, last-time) screenwriter Dan Madigan's horrible dialogue to chew on. Of course, he does have to suffer through the ludicrous plot, but I suspect that filming this movie was a lot less painful than watching it. Director Dark actually seems less competent now than he was twenty years ago, using his namesake darkness to cover up his inability to ever once have the camera offer us an interesting shot.
Avoid this film. It's a bad, bad, awful piece of fourth-rate crap, and possibly the least original movie ever filmed.
*There's exactly one lightbulb in the entire hotel, it seems.
**This murder was pretty much swiped from I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. Again, if you're swiping from utter crap, you're going to end up with copied crap.
***What? It's not like the characters are interesting enough to have names, or even much in the way of personality. "The other guy" is as good a way to describe him.
****Because none of them have ever seen a movie before, one assumes.
*****Or, for the old-schoolers, Dr. Isaac Yankem, evil wrestling dentist.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-22 03:05 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-23 01:50 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-22 04:12 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-23 01:52 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-23 01:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-22 05:59 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-22 08:19 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-23 01:56 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-22 08:08 am (UTC)".. causing him to plummet to his death" hides a particularly amusing death scene, and the dog death is also notable.
I did switch off some of my brain when I saw WWE Films, mind.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-23 01:57 am (UTC)I tried switching my brain off, but there were override switches, I guess.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-26 09:22 pm (UTC)2) No, the bell doesn't go off when the couple enters the room, or when they sit down on the bed. It rings when they start making out. That's the best alarm system ever.
HA! Indeed!
3) He manages to overlook the shoplifter, failing to see her buried under some debris..
This scene helps proves my theory that the best place to hide from The Axe Murderer is under a pile of dirty laundry.
4) The dog commentary on Goodnight's death finished convinced me the director and screenwriter need some *very* serious slapping.