Yet another reason the internet is your friend

[yendi]

Reports CNN/EW: So, newcomers to the "Twilight" phenomenon like Calvin Johnson went into a Los Angeles screening on Friday night thinking he and his friend were walking into a horror film. ''We're hoping to see at least a couple of teenage girls get their heads cut off,'' the 44-year-old said.

Seriously, folks. Two minutes online could have told you that Twilight would certainly not turn out to be this sort of movie.

So could the fact that it's PG-13, and even "real" horror movies that have been saddled with that rating have been bloodless, scare-free, and boring.

Honestly, Calvin Johnson deserves the two hours that he got.

Also, really, when was the last time you associated a vampire movie with (human) decapitation? Not counting From Dusk 'til Dawn, vampire films tend to be about menace and stalking and maybe some angst, but most vamps, by definition, want to suck blood, not decapitate (and they want to turn humans, more often than not).

Comments

[modpixie.livejournal.com]

calvin johnson's comment was all sorts of hinky, at least to me.

(we should be going to see let the right one in today, huzzah!)

[robyn-ma.livejournal.com]

Unless he was talking about the teenage girls in the audience.

I certainly would pay decent money to see a couple of Twilight fangirls get their heads cut off. Preferably by each other, during some Team Edward/Team Jacob squabble...

[littlefrogling.livejournal.com]

I would love to see a fandom documentary of the Teams going at each other. Very West Side Story (except lame and with lots of squealing)...

[eh-notsomuch.livejournal.com]

Even if you are hoping to see some girls get beheaded? Have the sense to KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. And DON'T TELL CNN.

Also, did he not see any news stories about all the teenage girls screaming about this movie?

[montykins.livejournal.com]

I think the Blade and Underworld franchises have the kind of vampire action violence this guy was thinking of. But I can't immediately think of a specific decapitation in either of those. Except when Blade cuts heads off of vampires, I guess.

Near Dark features a near-decapitation in the bar scene, so that's 21 years ago.

[poobah103.livejournal.com]

The vampires in "Twilight" don't burst into flames when the sun hits them- they sparkle like fairies instead. Also, even though they're all over 100 years old, the best thing they can think of to do with their time is to hang out with high-school kids, sitting at the lunch-table in the far corner of the cafeteria and talking about how they're secretly way cooler than the jocks and preppies and cheerleaders who keep throwing food at them.

So yeah, "Twilight" isn't really about *vampires*, per se... it's more about the people who dress up like vampires, listen to emo music, never go to any of the school dances because they're way too cool for that kind of shit, and who tend to be so pale that exposure to direct sunlight causes a blinding flash of reflected light similar to sparkling like a fairy.

All that said, I can't understand why "Twilight" has become so main-stream popular. Listen, "Twilight" fans... the main characters in "Twilight" go to your school, and you probably spend most of your lunch-period throwing food at them or stuffing them into a locker. If someone is a total lamer, then they're still a total lamer after you give them superpowers... the only thing adding superpowers changes is how loudly you can talk about them being a lamer when that person is around.

[poobah103.livejournal.com]

Unless, of course, you happen to *be* one of the pale, trenchcoat-wearing emo-kids in question. In which case, I totally understand why you bought "Twilight"... I just find it a little strange that there are 30 cheerleaders standing in line behind you to buy the same exact book.

[raptorgirl.livejournal.com]

Calvin Johnson sounds like a creep. I don't know him, but I already kind of want to punch him.

[nishar.livejournal.com]

Also, really, when was the last time you associated a vampire movie with (human) decapitation? 30 Days of Night for one. And to kill a vampire, after you stake him in the heart, whack whack and off goes the head. Otherwise the vamp comes back once the stake is taken out of the chest.