Dear New Line Cinema's merchandising department:

[yendi]

What. The. Fuck?

I mean, look: No one wants to see a woman wearing a short dress with a low-cut top and boots while holding a bloody machete more than I do. Really.

But "Mrs. Jason Voorhees?" What the fuck? That manages to be gloriously wrong both within and outside the context of the movies.

Better yet, instead of a real hockey mask, you made it a hockey-mask shaped purse!

Also, the fine print, where admit that you don't even include the machete (or the boots, or the blood)? Made of fail!

The entire fucking idea here is made of fail. Really.

(No, I didn't go searching for this; New Line sent me an email with links to assorted F13 merchandise. This one stood out.)

Comments

[felisdemens.livejournal.com]

Hmph. Slutty Leatherface beats hell out of this.

[darknbitter.livejournal.com]

hmmm I couldn't find the fine print, (although I believe you) but what your saying is that you can get a slutty death hocky jersy and matching purse for only $55.

Is Mrs. Jason Voorhees, the mother perhaps? Perhaps our slasher is really Jason Jr.? Honestly I've never been a fan of the series, is there any lore regarding the father?

[lordrexfear.livejournal.com]

While a failed concept...
as merchandise?

That purse is a talk item and worth at least 40 bucks if made well.

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

I have to admit, though, Mr. and Mrs. Jason in marriage counselling is a movie I'd go to see. Voorhees vs. Voorhees!