Wow

[yendi]

So, remember the hullabaloo over the book The Feminist and the Cowboy, in which a former feminist romance author recounts how a manly man "tamed" her?

Turns out that he also abused and raped her. Needless to say, massive trigger warning for that piece (including a trigger warning for rape/abuse apology). Not a happy morning read, but one that in many ways seems like the logical conclusion to the saga hinted at in the book's story.

Comments

[elsewhereangel.livejournal.com]

She sounds like a deeply troubled woman on many levels. I'm particularly concerned about the bit where her new boyfriend writes her abuser a "thank you note." I know sometimes you have to bottom out before you can break the cycle of abuse but it's worrisome that she seems to be diving back into it. No judgment, just worry.

That and how the desperate pursuit of success/money/the so-called American Dream (she refers to trying to stay w/ him to publication date) can lead to such incredibly dark places. Survival and self-worth are so much more important.

[yendi]

That's the most horrifying part for me. She's been abused and raped (even though neither she nor the slate writer use the latter word), and thanks the man even now. It's really a painful read.

[elsewhereangel.livejournal.com]

I noticed the linguistic avoidance too. Frankly, I'd never heard "took me" outside of a romance novel before. I hope she finds the strength it takes to realize that she's going to need some outside help getting through this.

[yendi]

*nod* Ditto.

[greylistening.livejournal.com]

Yes. That made me feel nauseous.

[not-hothead-yet.livejournal.com]

how terribly sad

outside of the personal aspects of this tale (clearly not anywhere near ending) I have to say her idea of "feminism" is just doubly sad. What happened to her growing up that she believed it was "feminist" to be rancorous towards men? I suspect abuse at a young age...

SMH

[yendi]

There are a lot of people who carry that rather bizarre and reactionary definition. It really is sad.

[polymexina.livejournal.com]

What's really sad is that her Dirty Girls Social Club was really awesome -- the characters included Latinas of a variety of races, body types, and sexual orientations, and their goals were all linked to personal and professional success. They struggled with understanding themselves as American, black, mixed race, and Latina, and with what being Latina means when you might not speak fluent Spanish. Therapy was a valid solution to problems, which is pretty radical for fiction featuring characters coming from communities for whom that can very much be a doomsday option.

[miss-lisa-ma.livejournal.com]

Egads. And I wonder why I don't date anymore.

[miss-lisa-ma.livejournal.com]

EWWWWWWWWWWW.