X-Files, Season 11
Feb. 26th, 2016 12:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yendiWith fans clearly craving more, and a renewal imminent, I've managed to get a copy of the TV Guide descriptions the six episodes featured in 2017's Season 11 of The X-Files
S11E1 "Renewals" You liked Lauren Ambrose? We're upping the Six Feet Underness of the show by adding Mathew St. Patrick! You know, Keith, the only black character from that show? Yep, after twenty years, the X-Files finally has black character who isn't an alien. Or do we? Oh, wait, we forgot about Kersh, but don't worry, we totally won't make St. Patrick a one-note character just there to be hated. You have our word! Oh, and we gave this episode a snappy title that could be meta. You like that, right?
S11E2 "Jose Chung's Back to the Well." This one has everything! D&D references, men in black, surprise celebrity cameos (you kids still think Dean Cain's a big deal, right?), metatextual BS, and Mulder masturbating to a Sasquatch. A real live one, not a video.
S11E3 "Cotton-Eyed Joe" Mulder convinces Scully to investigate a series of weddings that are getting called off at the last minute. Scully suggests that this is just fucking normal in the 21st century, but her foolish female skepticism is once again shattered, as they encounter a mysterious being whose "smile was his gun." They eventually solve the case by visiting genius.com and finding the secret messages in a Rednex song.
S11E4 "Chinchilabeast." Chinchillas. One of the few creatures that hasn't been the subject of an episode yet. Also, this will be the episode with the transphobic jokes shoehorned into an otherwise entertaining episode.
S11E5 "Phoning It In" Shit, I don't know. There are some bees, and the Cigarette-Smoking Man working with yet another unexpected traitor (spoiler: Doggett), and maybe someone with with awkward social skills who seems monstrous but turns out to just be protecting something else and it all ends in tragedy?
S11E6 "My Struggle III" Mulder just says "fuck it," rips off his mask, and reveals that he's Adolph Hitler, just like Hate-Monger did decades ago. The remainder of the 42 minutes is just Chris Carter curled up in a ball, sobbing and shouting, "why couldn't I get Vince Gilligan back?" As the show fades to black, we see the words "to be continued." You try to leave your house, but opening the door leads to an impenetrable void. You are trapped, forever, just like Carter.
S11E1 "Renewals" You liked Lauren Ambrose? We're upping the Six Feet Underness of the show by adding Mathew St. Patrick! You know, Keith, the only black character from that show? Yep, after twenty years, the X-Files finally has black character who isn't an alien. Or do we? Oh, wait, we forgot about Kersh, but don't worry, we totally won't make St. Patrick a one-note character just there to be hated. You have our word! Oh, and we gave this episode a snappy title that could be meta. You like that, right?
S11E2 "Jose Chung's Back to the Well." This one has everything! D&D references, men in black, surprise celebrity cameos (you kids still think Dean Cain's a big deal, right?), metatextual BS, and Mulder masturbating to a Sasquatch. A real live one, not a video.
S11E3 "Cotton-Eyed Joe" Mulder convinces Scully to investigate a series of weddings that are getting called off at the last minute. Scully suggests that this is just fucking normal in the 21st century, but her foolish female skepticism is once again shattered, as they encounter a mysterious being whose "smile was his gun." They eventually solve the case by visiting genius.com and finding the secret messages in a Rednex song.
S11E4 "Chinchilabeast." Chinchillas. One of the few creatures that hasn't been the subject of an episode yet. Also, this will be the episode with the transphobic jokes shoehorned into an otherwise entertaining episode.
S11E5 "Phoning It In" Shit, I don't know. There are some bees, and the Cigarette-Smoking Man working with yet another unexpected traitor (spoiler: Doggett), and maybe someone with with awkward social skills who seems monstrous but turns out to just be protecting something else and it all ends in tragedy?
S11E6 "My Struggle III" Mulder just says "fuck it," rips off his mask, and reveals that he's Adolph Hitler, just like Hate-Monger did decades ago. The remainder of the 42 minutes is just Chris Carter curled up in a ball, sobbing and shouting, "why couldn't I get Vince Gilligan back?" As the show fades to black, we see the words "to be continued." You try to leave your house, but opening the door leads to an impenetrable void. You are trapped, forever, just like Carter.