Why I love South Park

[yendi]

Stan: Look, my friend Kyle won't fly back home to Colorado. All I need you to do is just talk to him and tell him, you know, the whole talking to dead people isn't for real.
John Edward: Maybe it is for real.
Stan: Right, but it's not. It's a trick you do and I need you to just let my friend Kyle know that so he can go on with his life.
John Edward: Look, people have the right to be skeptical. I really hear voices in my head.
Stan: Yes. We all hear voices in our heads. It's called "intuition." Get over yourself and tell my friend it's just for fun.
John Edward: Look, what I do doesn't hurt anybody. I give people closure and help them cope with life.
Stan: No, you give them false hope and a belief in something that isn't real.
John Edward: But I'm a psychic.
Stan: No dude, you're a douche.
John Edward: I'm not a douche! What if I really believe that dead people talk to me?
Stan: Then you're a stupid douche
John Edward: I think I've had of your bullying me! Get out of my house or I'll runs upstairs, lock myself in my panic room and call the police!
Stan: I'm nine years old.
John Edward: I'm not talking to your friend and I'm not a douche! [runs up the stairs and towards his room] You'd better get out of my house, 'cause I'm gonna call the police! [Stan looks at him like he's nuts; he locks himself in his panic room]
Stan: You are so a douche! I'm nominating you for the Biggest Douche in the Universe award, you douche! [walks towards the door, but notices some books on a bookcase nearby. He checks them out. "How To Be A Psychic" "Cold Reading: The Trick Of The Psychic!" "Make Women Believe You're Psychic! Then Have Sex With Them!" "How To Sixty Nine With Yourself" ...Stan senses the real reason behind John's efforts] Son of a bitch. [takes the books and leaves the estate.]

This show rocks my world.

Comments

[kalafaye.livejournal.com]

I agree..the show does rock!!!!!

[vidicon.livejournal.com]

Making Fun of John Edward (http://www.twoheadedcat.com/arch/arch-tftl09302002.htm) is no end of fun.

It's almost a hobby.

[*]

[yendi]

Nice! Two great targets in one article!

[piratejenny.livejournal.com]

We couldn't stop laughing when we watched it. Although I still think Lemmywinks the Gerbil King was a bit funnier for the Hobbit references.

But now every time I hear the name John Edward, all I can think is he's the universe's biggest douche.

I once saw some chick on the bus--she was sitting next to me--reading his novel! I wondered briefly if she was trying my trick of reading bizarre books on the bus to make people not sit near her. Then I realized that really not many people on Staten Island are smart enough to think of that.

[gladstone.livejournal.com]

Ha! I'll have to check and see if that episode is being rerun anytime soon.

John Edward is such a fucking douche.