Make your own Anita Blake book

[yendi]

In honor of the fact that we own a copy of Incubus Dreams for some reason (doorstop? Flyswatter? Emergency weapon? Target for throwing knives?), here's how to make your own Anita Blake novel (note: this technique only applies to later Anita Blake novels; to create early AB novels, you have to actually write):

1. Tear 100 pages out of any of the first five AB novels.

2. Head to http://www.asstr.org/ and pick 25 different stories at random. Include as many different kinks as you can, including at least one dealing with animals and one dealing with the supernatural.

3. Print all those stories.

4. Take all 25 stories and all 100 pages from the AB books and shuffle them together.

5. Do NOT, under any circumstances, edit a single word. If the porn you picked was well-written, in fact, add some mistakes.

6. Do randomly change a few actions and motivations to reflect your own personal life.

7. In fact, just go ahead and rename the main character "Laurell." or "Mary Sue." Whichever.

Comments

[fezabel.livejournal.com]

Please note : I don't want to know you.

[pharminatrix.livejournal.com]

That's the spirit: take your toys and go home. Don't forget to stomp and slam the door.

[amokk]

So... wtf are you doing here then?

[fezabel.livejournal.com]

I was referred by someone to this person's LJ. I posted a differing opinion to the rest of his sycophants who read this drivel which masquerades as 'opinions'.

I'm sorry -- I forgot the cardinal rule of LJ. 'You can post a comment anywhere, as long as it does not conflict with the majority.'

[amokk]

It's just so easy to namecall, isn't it? Why is it when others agree with someone, they're sycophants? I've always wondered this...

As far as the opinions... the irony is amusing.

[kajivar]

You didn't post a differing opinion. You went straight for the insults.

Oh, and if you scan the thread -- some of the "sycophants" DID post differing opinions without resorting to name-calling.

and I stand by it!

[softlywhispered.livejournal.com]

*chuckles* I love the shclocky-ness of the AB books. I love the Meredith series even more so. Mmmmmm Faery Porn!

~Sw

Re: and I stand by it!

[dinpik.livejournal.com]

The Merry Gentry series is my guilty pleasure. Mainly because Merry doesn't angst over sex, and gives a shit about the other people in her life.

[pharminatrix.livejournal.com]

No, you posted a differing opinion followed by an ad hominem attack. Just because you disagree, and are trying to establish some shaky identity as a "not-sycophant" does not give you license to attack and make assumptions about a person you don't know.

[clawfoot.livejournal.com]

Hmm. yendi posted an opinion (albeit a strongly-worded one, which is still just an opinion).

You posted a conflicting opinion, accompanied by a nasty personal attack.

When you're attacked back, you cry foul and accuse others of not "allowing" you to have an opinion.

Classic! Brava! You're a textbook troll! You graduate from the Troll Academy. Here's your diploma. Your training is complete. Now go! Take LJ by storm! Woo!

[rollick.livejournal.com]

I am seriously curious how you manage to maintain this level of self-righteous indignation while actually interacting with people on the Internet. I find back-and-forths like this completely swamp my energy, and it's just not worth it. Do you really find it satisfying, or do you just think it's a duty, or what?

[sff-corgi.livejournal.com]

My goodness, fezabel - we have a Friend in common, so I come with references. Please chill. :)

Yendi's a very cool guy, with a Celtic-level sharp tongue. You have to take him in context and please not jump so fast.

You used Welsh in your userinfo...! *fandogs*

[yendi]

You know, all things considered, I think you might be wrong about Cariadwyn being Welsh. After reading his posts, I suspect that cariadwyn actually meant to call himself "Carl," but mistyped.

[tiltingheartand]

... randomly: I think I know you. Vaguely.

[sff-corgi.livejournal.com]

^_^ [points at LJ link] Feel free.

[corwinok.livejournal.com]

Hey, yendi, how can I gather some sycophants? It's long been a dream of mine to have hordes of them.

[yendi]

Shit, I didn't know I had 'em until today! I need to see a doctor and find out what causes them!

[nomadmwe.livejournal.com]

They make a cream for them.

Problem is, the side effects are usually worse than the original symptoms.

Oh, the bitter irony of life.

[correspondguy.livejournal.com]

If you feed them, they never leave. It was the trail of breadcrumbs that led me here.

[corwinok.livejournal.com]

There's probably a creme or unguent for them

[philrancid.livejournal.com]

I just saying earlier this morning about how I needed sycophants, myself--we need to put someone to work, investigating this...

Hey Yendi--you fuckin' snob! ;)

[experimentego.livejournal.com]

Funny, I thought the REAL cardinal rule of lj was "I'll only friend you if you friend me back." I must not have received the memo.

But if you feel that your opinion, by being contrary to "the majority", is being oppressed by "sycophants", just try to remember who started with a bunch of ad hominem attacks.

[experimentego.livejournal.com]

Whoops, somebody else addressed the ad hominem insult tactics. Now I feel awfully superfluous. :P

[domynoe.livejournal.com]

I forgot the cardinal rule of LJ. 'You can post a comment anywhere, as long as it does not conflict with the majority.'

Had you merely posted an opinion, I doubt it would have been much of a problem. However, you chose to flame the person who owns this blog, you chose to start insulting and call people names. I think most here probably have more of a problem with THAT than the fact that you actually like the AB series. I'm generally easy going when it comes to comments in my journals and even I would have taken exception to your tone.

You want respect for your opinions, then you must respect the opinions of others, and those who make them.

[dandelion-diva.livejournal.com]

Then why are you commenting in his journal?

Gessi